Greetings and academic salutations, the loud thunk you are about to hear is the sound of my bookbag being tossed onto the bedroom floor for the last time. After cloistering myself innumerable Sunday's at my favorite table at Barnes and Noble, hoping that White Chocolate Mocha really is the key to a deeper understanding of Accounting and Production Management, I'm trading in my Student I.D. card for a flowing, bathrobe-y sort of outfit, accessorized by a blue and gold tassle which I will wear once and turn into a pillow in a few years when I get to the nursing home. Maybe several pillows, and I'll thank you to buy one at the home's annual Holiday Handmade Crafts Sale..........because I will be writing checks for student loans long after most of my contemporaries are dead, your pennies will help.
You see I will not be allowed to die like the rest of you. Nosiree, I believe I have stumbled onto a Fountain of Youth none of the rest of you people had even thought of: Go to college late in life, take out student loans and pay them into your old age. You think Uncle Sam is going to let me die before he gets his last nickel?? Doubtful. I envision special legislative sessions to authorize funds for feeding tubes and ventilators. (Can we let her go now??? Not yet!!!! She's got 400 more payments to make!!!!!!) Feel free to give me notes. I'll hand them to your great-great grandchildren when their class makes a field trip to see what a 175-year old woman really looks like.
Yes, it's all but over. I have one more class this week. I have to turn in a couple of papers, give a short presentation, thank my teacher and head off to the bar with all my classmates where we plan to celebrate en masse as soon as he says, "Class dismissed."
What now?? You're all asking. I'm not sure I have an answer. Grad school?? Yes, I'd love to....but please refer to the previous paragraphs. Being alive to witness Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's great-grandchildren grow old just doesn't appeal to me. While I reserve the right to change my mind should I A) win the lottery B) meet a sugar daddy or C) graduate school becomes free..........I'll reconsider. For now I am in search of the social life I lost somewhere along the way.
It's true. A few weeks ago I lifted up the edge of this academic rock I've been living under and took a peek outside, only to realize that I've completely lost connection with my friends and family over the past four years. You all think I've either died or gotten really boring, don't you.
Hello!!!!!! Hey!!!! Down here!!!! I'm still here!!!!!! No, I haven't died. Perhaps I am boring...... you'll have to be the judge and I hope to give you the opportunity soon. Let's have lunch! Dinner! Drinks! Let's email! Road trip! Camp! Go places! Dance! Do things! See people!!! When was the last time..............oh my goodness, but it's been too long.
ATTENTION WORLD : I am back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Special Note to Camper Girls: I put this page together last fall, especially hoping to reconnect with you. I got as far as composing the page.........where does the time go?????? Anyway, I miss you. Let's gather. Soon!