Friday, May 01, 2009

It's H1N1, People. Now for heaven's sake, go out and buy some BACON

We raise pigs around here. Lots of them. The pork industry is big-time in Iowa. If you grew up here like I did, you know lots about them.

No. You do not get the flu from eating pork.

You can fry bacon tomorrow and eat it all morning long and you won't get the flu. You can stuff ham into your sandwich. You can grind up sausage and spread it all over your pizza. Heck, you can kiss pigs all day long and you won't get the flu.

C'mon. You know I'm right. Don't tell me some of you haven't kissed a few over the years and lived to tell the story. Sheesh. Who hasn't. My best friend and I laugh about the night I came home and called her after a date a few years back. Seemed to be a good guy. Met him through friends.

"Did you like him?"
"Yeahhh, he seems nice enough."
"Well? Are you going to see him again??"
"Mmmm...I don't think so."
"And why not???"
"Look, I know this is dumb but when he kissed me good night I kind of had my hand behind his ear............and there was something back there."
"Something??!!! Like what KIND of somethng??"

I dunno what it was but I wasn't goin' back to find out.
It could have been a bug for all I know and for all I know that coulda turned out to be a beautiful relationship but a girl's gotta draw her line somewhere.
And mine is drawn just this side of suspicious entities lurking behind ears.

Eat Pork.
Cover your mouth when you cough.

And you out know who you are......wash behind your ears.

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