Comforting Things

Life passages have a way of wrapping cold,

indifferent hands

around the images and illusions

of familiar celebrations,

stealing trraditions

before we fully realized how much

we loved them.

 

Time is unrelenting in it's

kneading and pushing

the maleable, essential elements of tradition
into unrecognizable shapes.
The perfectly balanced recipe of
family

and friends

and home

and hearth

become a dish we've never tasted before.

 And sometimes it's bitter.

Isn't that the way it goes, though?

We never know how much we really truly
I mean deeply
loved something
until we lose it.

A loved one.
A family dinner no longer held because
all the members live elsewhere.
A great old sweatshirt, perfectly worn.
A string of lights that we lace onto the tree
for year and years and years until the cord frays.
An old hymn replaced by a contemporary chorus.
A beloved voice silenced.
A tiny person, all grown up.

Passages.
Narrow pathways through which we squeeze,
guiding us from one time of life
to another.
 

 

This is a fine, well-worn flannel shirt

purchased from Sears

many, many, many years ago.

It was boxed, wrapped and tucked under the tree

back in 19-something or other,

waiting for Dad to open on Christmas morning.

 

Not MY Dad.

My kids Dad.

I gave this shirt to him mucho el lotsa years ago.

He had lots and lots of flannel shirts,

I ended up adopting this one as my own personal favorite

and now it's just plain mine.

It's my comfort shirt.

 

I take it out of storage every winter and keep it hanging

on a hook next to the drawer with my favorite

squishy winter socks.

When the evening is cold

and I'm home alone

I wear it.

It comforts me.

 

It's my happy shirt.

One that hugs me back to a sweet time of life

when my kids were little

and life was busy

with a calendar full of

places we had to be.

 

When I find myself

home alone

spending my holidays in a way I would never have dreamed

might be happy

and fulfilling

and satisfying

in light of my past family-filled gatherings

I wear this shirt

and smile.

 

Grateful for past celebrations.

Embracing life passages.